Quarantine Journal

By Star Friend

The moment of truth came for me as I stood outside a restaurant in Strasburg, Virginia, where the small dining room area was closed to customers.

The owner handed my takeout order to me through an open window, and when I tried to give her cash, she asked me to put the money not into her hand, but into a bucket of bleach water.

It's not like I was hoping for a romantic dining experience while the majority of restaurants are closed because of the nationwide Coronavirus outbreak. I just thought, for some reason, that cash would have been the preferred currency in that particular situation.

To keep from causing any cashiers extra anxiety, I've used my debit card for every transaction since.

And I have made a few transactions.

Teachers are required to grade students, but if I am giving myself a grade at my self-quarantine efforts, I might have to give myself a C, especially if I'm taking my cues from social media, where folks have been awfully judgy lately. (I know judgy isn't in the dictionary. It's OK to use made-up words when you're talking about social media.)

But seriously, here's what the "experts" on Facebook have been saying:

1) No socializing with anyone outside your household.

2) Don't even go to a park.

3) If you're seen smiling or laughing in public, you could be held in Big Trouble. Whatever you do, DO NOT be seen coughing.

(OK, so the last part included a little English teacher hyperbole humor.)

I'm not one to be flippant about international pandemics. I don't want to die of Coronavirus. It's just that I have been tempted to go to Starbucks for a smoked butterscotch latte. The coffee I make at home is not the same.

But I haven't done it yet. This morning I went to Walmart and picked up a bottle of hazelnut coffee syrup along with some other necessities. They were completely out of toilet paper. The lady at the cash register told me a truck had been delivering toilet paper in the afternoon, and then the store was letting each customer get one package. I didn't confirm that with a manager and I'm not planning on going back today.

Just remember, friends, drinking too much coffee leads to using too much toilet paper, and even though you won't have to ask for a pass to go to the bathroom while classes are canceled, we should all practice moderation in our pursuits as we anxiously wait to be together again.

Namaste.