you

 i am in love with ideas

the idea of comfort

the idea of melting in someone's arms

after feeling so bottled up and worn down

the feeling of connection that runs deep

the exhilaration of a fast heartbeat

connectivity. intimate connectivity.

so often i think of love as a movie,

and through a screen,

the perspective of romance

is dilated, perceived

tens of thousands of times more enhanced

but every story has been written before

but the image is more detailed

with this higher resolution,

the color of romance becomes distorted

and much more saturated.

love should be the tiny things

the things i don't pick up on right away

the quiet revelations,

the unacknowledged comfort you bring.

it should be the "i confide in you"

it should be the "you may be the 

only real friend that i can trust"

the sudden look over in class

and the feelings

the thoughts of the future with you

come rushing back.

love should be quiet.

it should be celebrated in the streets.

it should be a bedtime story.

it should be the monster in your closet.

it shouldn't dictate you

but it should keep you going.

it should be colliding galaxies

two different worlds

melded together to create

something entirely new.

it should make you want to keep reading

even if you hate the plot.

it should be nice to you.

it should be tough on you.

natural care approaches me

very rarely, and

very rarely do i find myself 

in love with nothing more than an idea.

a desire to truly see you is forbade behind

one sided glass.

in my hand i have no pick, no chisel

but a spirit filled with

new growth can be

a chisel of its own accord.

it was a revelation i had recently

that i had perceived love 

wrong this entire time

i thought love had to be grandiose

i thought it was everything

i thought it was supposed to consume you

i thought it was all or nothing

i noticed this when 

my heart wasn't beating fast

but i still felt new comfort around you.

i'm afraid of all this

of valuing you for less than you are

i'm afraid of loving a hollow idea of you 

despite knowing how much you mean to me.

knowing you makes me want to forget

ideas.

it shatters the one sided glass.

maybe, just once,

i'll see you as

an authentic human being

- anonymous